(sin^2 x) + (cos^2 x) = 1

by Marissa Rubin

Formulas. We’ll call this blog, Formulas.”

11-hr. work day yet again. This evening, I rummaged through my massive bin of gear for my sacred hammock. I made myself some green tea with an extensive portion of honey and grabbed a book off my bookshelf. My original intention was simply to sleep, but I knew for a fact that my mind would wander and the barking of my dogs at the neighbor’s yappers would interfere. So, I went outside and read and drank. Spilled half of my tea. And read. And drank. And blew a little spider off of my arm. And read. And now my tea was gone. And now you’re probably bored.

The book I cracked open this evening was my third by Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What.  Don explains how we need not tap into God by so called formulas.  He gives some brilliant, sensible quotes about how we put God into a box.  Basically describes how we make God into our image versus the other way around.  Roman Catholics in Europe view God differently than Baptists in Texas, etc.  Some people see Jesus as a skinny, trendy figurine.  Or you know…the feltboards.  Or…fill-in-the-blank.  How do I see God?  How do you see God?

I want to see God in all His splendor.  I have seen glimpses and I can’t help but yearn for more.  He is forever worthy.  His agenda is so much greater than I anything I can fathom or try to have my hand upon.

Ok, back to the formulas.  This short reading that I pored over exactly reflected the message that one of the guys gave at a young adult service in Dover last night.  Premise:  We try to have our hand in things, but things don’t go according to this formula; they’re not supposed to.  God has divine supremacy.  How often do we forget?

Moving is still the plan.  June 18th, folks.  Fast approaching!  So, ya know…the future has been on my mind a lot.  I’m convinced that life is a series of transitions and changes.  I wonder why it took so long for me to figure out that it’s never going to be the way I picture it to be or have complete consistency.  I’m beginning to love change.  Ok, maybe I don’t “love” it yet, but I am learning to appreciate it.  So, last night as I was driving home and yet again listening to the newly released “Of Men And Angels” by The Rocket Summer, the thought came to my mind, “What if I don’t wind up moving West?”  I initially wanted to curse my mind.  Then I was okay.  I will be okay no matter what happens.  Yeah, I’m still planning on going, but stay or go, I’ll be fine.  I’m not living by my forumla…I can’t.  I wish I could give more explanation into my trivial, insubstantial brain, but I can’t do that either.

So this is I, Marissa Dale…all over the place with my thoughts once again.  I’ll depart with this…

“I don’t want it anymore if it’s not You I gain.”