Derek Webb says the s-word.

by Marissa Rubin

He still loves God, and more important, God still loves Him.

Just stating a fact here.  I sometimes wish I was better at writing debatable, intuitive blogs, but that’s just not me.  With that said, I will not be blogging on Derek’s brilliant, freshly released “Stockholm Syndrome.”

Hmmmm…here I go again.  It’s super late, and I’m up.  I could have hit my not-so-comfortable mattress hours ago, BUT I got to “surfing the net” like my friends in China.  It’s true.  Ask any young adult in China what their hobbies are, and they most likely first respond with, “surfing the net” 9.8 times out of 10.  I swear.  I’m feeling witty.

Guangzhou 07

Guangzhou 07

Believe it or not, I wasn’t on facebook or twitter or any sites like such.  Rather, I was future-searching, yes…”future searching.”  Dreaming.  Visioneering.  Wondering.  Praying.  Hoping.  Once again, I am at this yearly crossroads.  I’m beginning to get used to it, maybe even fond of it.  In complete honesty, I will most likely be in Delaware again this year.  I really can go anywhere with my satellite schooling, but no matter how much I long to get out of here, I can’t leave.  And this thing holding me back isn’t fear, or anything of the like.  The thing holding me back is God.  It’s weird, and I still don’t know exactly why, but I need to stay.  I am probably perplexing, for I am confusing even myself as I punch these keys.

I was on the sites of Compassion International, World Vision, Mocha Club, Invisible Children, YWAM, and every major missions/humanitarian organization.  Just researching a bit.  I am so ready for my next move, but I know that I am not able to make it at the moment.  Maybe after this year, maybe.  It’s funny.  It’s funny how often I ponder the “greener grass.”  Sure, there are many much prettier, more fascinating places than del., but who am I kidding?  I am gaining perspective yet again.

Oh, that we would truly live for the One thing no matter where we are placed, or through what trials we are undergoing.  The simple fact that our futures are indeed decided can ease our easily distraught minds.  Take me as an offering, again, and again, and again, and again, and again.  God, please do it again.  Thanks.

One more thing:  I wish wordpress was like blogspot so I could share what I’m listening to.  I’m listening to regina spektor. Drinking v8 fusion.  Now to my springy mattress.